During a diving lecture, Andrea (South) was becoming confused about the respiratory system. "Oh", she said, "I wish I had taken Geography at school."

Andrea (South) phones up Kevan and Denise to arrange a night out, "Who's driving?", Denise replied, "Kev is", "OK" replies Andrea, "What time shall I pick you up?"

After having received a Christmas card from dive instructor Carl, Denise and Andrea (South) were discussing the fact that they could not return one, due to the fact they only had his phone number. Andrea suddenly came up with an idea, " We could always phone him and ask him what his phone number is ?"

A group of us were playing Trivial Pursuits one evening and Andrea (South) was having trouble answering a question. Deciding to help Kevan said, "I'll give you a clue, it's a number between 3 and 5." , "Oh", replies Andrea, "you mean 6."

"What shape was it, like a rhombus?" Mike asked Andrea (Southern Git), "No, its more like a square on its side."

Andrea (South) to Mike, "I saw a fish with yellow stripes, do you know what it's called?", Mike: "Was it flat?", Andrea (South) replies, "No, it was a fish."

Kevan to Andrea while playing backgammon - "have you got more than 1?", "no", replied Andrea, "I've got 2"

I remember when Tommy Boyd was on Magpie and used to say "How"

While in the Maldives Andrea was full of praise for the diving instructors - " the  Claudia Austrian instructor is so clever she can speak fluent German."

Andrea (South) when a bridesmaid at her sister Dawn's wedding, was called upon to make a speech - "Unaccustomed to speaking as I am, but I'm available."

Andrea (South) whilst discussing the merits of U2's Bono - "I'm not looking at him, I'm looking at his voice"

Andrea after going to an air show - "It was really good because everything happened above us."

Denise to Andrea - "My Snorkels never been diving." Andrea replies "No, and my snorkel is never going snorkeling."

Denise to Andrea (South) - "Are there going to be any non-meat alternative snacks at your party?" "Oh, yes" replies Andrea, "I have got chicken drumsticks."

Andrea (South) - "When have you ever seen a plane fly?"

Playing 'Who wants to be a millionaire ?' Chris asks Andrea (South) "What is the minimum number of coins you can use for 17p? " she answers, "17". (The actual answer is 3 - 10p, 5p and 2p)

Andrea (South) arriving at the shops at Amsterdam Schippol Airport, "Oh blast, I didn't bring any German money with me".

Andrea (South) - "I'd be no good at maths - it's all Greek to me".