 John in a stationers while deciding which map to purchase, "Look, this is a good map, it shows where places are in relation to each other."
|
 Howard (Andrea south's father) says to Kevin, while washing a car, "Pass me a bucket of dry water."
|
 Micki (Denise's Mum) describing some cakes, "They are very good these cakes, you can defrost them in the freezer."
|
 Debs explaining the objectives of the Lions organisation, ".... they help those who are less needy than ourselves ..."
|
 Denise's grandmother offering some help, "That's right, I'll carry both bags in this hand, then I'll have both hands free."
|
 A conversation about an abridged version of a well-known film, "Oh yes, it was the same story, but all the male parts had been taken out."
|
 A Railtrack spokesperson following a crash on a single line section, "The line used to be a double track, but was singled ten years ago as part of a modernisation program."
|
 Chris ordering some drinks from a Barmaid in a Wine Bar, "What are the German Beers you sell?" , "We only sell one German Beer", "No, you don't, I can see two." , "They're not both German." , "Yes they are." , The puzzled barmaid looks at the bottles, then triumphantly states, "See, I told you, this one's German all right, but this one's Bavarian!"
|
 On a train between the East German coast and the Island of Rugen. PDS considers, "I wonder why we are being held up? I know, the swing bridge must be up."
|
| |
Back to top |
|
Denise's Aunt Margaret, "W e had a lovely meal and Anita cooked the mushrooms in the Microphone." |
 Diving in the Red Sea at Eilat, Israel, the Gits Diving Instructor Doron was talking about the importance of correct buoyancy, "You should make sure you are finning one met re above the surface."
|
Click on Photo
Leidenfelde station, 10:41,  platform 1: Chris says, "The train we want goes from platform 3," Arriving at platform 3 at 10:43 only to discover it has no rails . |
 Kevin, Kevan and Chris traveling to Fairoaks Airport. Kevin says in reply to a question Chris asked, "It's very easy to find the airport from here." Ten seconds later, Chris to Kevin, "Why have we just gone passed the turn off to the airport?", Kevin, "Ah....."
|
 Allayne while looking at a bar of Fruit and Nut - "I am going to drink my chocolate now."
|
 Hickles friend at work advised - "I know a short cut, but it takes longer"
|
 Carolyn - "Does anyone know any jokes apart from Chris?"
|
 Carolyn on a narrow-boat holiday, "Is Neil alright at the back there?, if he needs some relief I'm happy to do it."
|
 Middle aged woman from Dorking - "There are a lot of single men out there, getting near to 40 years old, never been married and they are all very lonely
|
 Chris to 9 year old Andy - "Look Andy, this is a special type of bridge. The boats go in the canal and the canal actually goes over the road." Andy replies, "What like an aqueduct?"
|
 Chris' Boss on the way through customs on the way into the UK : "Oh, no I've suddenly forgot to book a minicab."
|
 A colleague pretending to be interested in another colleagues new offspring, "How old is your new baby?" reply came "in a few weeks she will be 10 months old."
|
| |
Back to top |
|
 Commenting on Everton football clubs dismal form - "Everton are not only in the second half of the table, its worse than that they're in the third quarter."
|
 A Capital Radio news reader - "A man killed himself and then his wife and 2 children."
|
 Hickles at work - "Does anyone know where the Oracle CD is?", Steve, his workmate replied, "I know where it is .......where is it?"
|
 Nicola a friend of Jenny's - "These apples look like they have been picked from a tree."
|
 Nicola a friend of Jenny's - "I'm going to take my coat because I haven't got any money."
|
 Mike asks Allayne - "Did you hear about the diver who was attacked by a shark?", "No" replies Allayne, "but I have been reading about Wooky Hole."
|
 Nicola a friend of Jenny's - "You've been to New Zealand Chris, were you younger then?"
|
 Allayne asks of Hulhule airport in the Maldives, "Is that airport man made?"
|
 Discussing famous people in the news when Allayne says, "Orville has just been banned from driving." (Orville is a ventriloquists dummy)
|
 Nicola a friend of Jenny's planning her diary - "Pass me a pen and I'll pencil it in."
|
 During an England V Italy football game - Allayne asks, "Is it usual to have fences around the ground, is it to stop the players getting on the pitch?"
|
 During an England V Italy football game - Allayne asks, "since this is on Sky TV, does that mean you've got a lamp on the roof?"
|
| |
Back to top |
|
 During crowd trouble at the England V Italy football game - Allayne asks, "Why, if they were expecting so many police, did they sell so many tickets?"
|
 Jackie (Jenny's Sister) on being shown a book on the 'Titanic' - "Is it just text and pictures?"
|
Click on Photo
Elaine to Chris whilst stan ding at this spot in Ireland - "Where do you think we can catch the bus from?"
|
 Matthew (Friend of Chris & Jenny) - "The road are a bit greasy, we need some rain to wash the wet away."
|
 Rob (Friend of Chris & Jenny), when asked if the exchange rate made it expensive for him to travel from his home in Brussels to England, "The thing that cost the most is the money".
|
 Terry - "Who heard of Kate Moss before the Titanic movie?"
|
 Pre-printed BSAC membership form to Jenny - Medical due - 30/09/1900
|
 Work friend of Chris - "I think I will stay overnight , I've got a portable toothbrush with me".
|
 Work colleague of Denise answering the phone after a mouth full of food, "Ooh, sorry about that, I have a cream cake full of mouth".
|
 Looking for a new name for a blank card in 'Who's in the bag?' Chris suggests, "What about Shawn Buck?", Angie responds, "No, let's choose a real person".
|
 Allayne - "What is it you wanted heated? , I'll put it in the microphone".
|
|
| |
Back to top |
|
