Chris having seen the road sign to Zealah, "A lot of these Cornish names have very strange places."

Chris along walking the Huddersfield narrow canal, "I always get the bottom of these trousers dirty when I go out for a walk. Still, that's what dishwashers are for!"

Chris while moaning about pointless expensive advertisements, "Why do British gas waste so much money on advertising when I'd much rather they give me 10% discount on my phone bill."

Chris to Shawn in the Kitchen in Poole Harbour at Beachfest '92, "Can you get the toast out for me, as I'm covered in soapy hands."

Chris chatting to Kevan, Denise and Katherine in the garden in Poole, "Oh yes, it's September isn't it.  How depressing, winter is over."

Saturday evening, Poole Harbour on an August Bank Holiday weekend.  Chris, whilst contemplating phoning a restaurant to see if a table was available, "Well, we could just turn up and say, 'Is there any chance of a room?'"

Chris at Redhill Flying Club, discussing the availability of fast food in New Zealand, "Of course they've got MacDonald's there, it's not the other end of world you know."

Discussing where to go during the day in Beachfest '92, Chris to Clement, "Have you ever been to Tyneham?" ,  Clement responded, "Yes, but only to Phuket, not Bangkok."

Chris considers while humming the tune of 'Alias Smith and Jones' and 'Bullseye' - "its the same tune with extra notes missed out."

Chris arrives in a meeting in Moscow with, "Zdrastvoytche." which means Hello. Unfortunately he also says it when he leaves, leaving a very confused Russian Banker.

Chris watching a car doing 30 mph along Ryde Pier that has a 10 mph speed limit, "It's not everywhere that you can drive at three times the limit legally."

During a day out on the Isle of Wight railway at Smallbrook Station, Chris says, "If we catch the train to Ryde, we can have a beer without having a drink afterwards."

Chris who was being attacked by mosquito's at the Almond Tree restaurant in Grand Cayman, suddenly says, "If we go out tomorrow night, I'm going to wear long sleeved trousers."

Chris - "I love to be able to relax and take my feet off"

Chris chatting to flying chum Rob, "I like birds - I think I should be in the RSPB." "What?" Said Rob, "You know the Royal Society for the Prevention of Birds."

Chris to Debbie in Kenya, "We ought to discuss what we're are going to do tomorrow over breakfast tonight."

Chris, having been to East Anglia for a weekend, came back and said, "Suffolk is very rural, even though it's quite close to England!"

Click on Photo

Chris and Shawn looking at some old photos. Shawn found one in particular interesting and asked "Who's this?", Chris replied "Oh, I think you will find it's me old boy."

Chris - "You always feel colder after a night dive because the daytime temperature is colder at night."

Chris in Poland, "Look at that bald man with the long hair."

Chris to Andrea (South) whilst discussing her part in 'Viva Mexico', "Are you wearing a hat like Carmina Burana?"

Chris commenting on someone's clothing, "I'm not sure I like that look, having your pullover tucked into your jumper like he has."

Chris to Denise before a visit to an amateur stage production (after getting of a plane from New York) - "If I fall asleep you can always poke me in the elbow."

Chris impressed with the way the apartments on Kanifinolhu were built, in the way that the palm trees hid them. "It's amazing the way they keep them below the roof tops."

Chris - "I did not order my food with you lot, because I thought it would be emotionally nice to wait for the others."

Chris to Shawn (looking at a pub clock) - "if you watch really closely you can see the second hand move every second".

A sleepy Chris after a train has crossed from Germany into Holland, "Dutch is such a great city for Holland." What he meant to say was Holland is a great country for cycling"

Chris to Jenny - "Did you get that scratch while you were asleep or while you were alive?"

Chris to Richard - "Did Andrew decide whether to go the PADI or BUPA route for his scuba training?" (Should be BSAC)

Chris to Jenny - "This fireplace is nice, its made entirely of wood.

Allayne to Chris - "Do you have a separate tumble dryer?", "No", responded Chris, "It's built in to the dishwasher". 

Chris at a conference - "Does anyone fancy eating coffee or something?"

Andrea to Chris - "Does your how face south?", Chris replied "The upstairs does".

Chris to restaurant owner in Tolworth - "I haven't seen your restaurant before, how long have you been open?", reply was, "Twenty years".

Chris at his birthday meal - "Did you know the turtle is the only creature that can swim underwater without holding its breathe?"

On receiving a novelty birthday present, Chris is told it is light activated - "Oh", says Chris, "I'd better take it to a warmer part of the pub then".

Chris to Jenny - "You can take a picture of me on the train, as the train runs alongside the railway".

Chris to Denise re Everton football club- "Jenny likes Nicky Barmby, she's his favourite".

. Chris - "It's not me its someone else's phone". (????)

Chris - "He's a rich millionaire".  (Is there any other type?)

Chris - "I hope I never have a nap while sleeping".

Playing 'Who wants to be a millionaire ?' Chris needing help say, "I would like to phone the audience". (Should be either phone a friend or ask the audience)

Chris - "Capital Gold will not talk about Everton football club as there is no UK involvement".